Weddings And Marriages

anirban das asked:


This argument has been raised nth number of times and no one has ever been able to win this debate.

In India, arranged marriages have always enjoyed an upper hand. Parents think that it is there utmost duty to find the most suitable match for their sons or daughters by looking through matrimonial or other sources. Though perception is changing slowly and lots of youngsters are opting for love marriages, it is still opposed in small towns and cities. The outgoing youth of India today feels that they are mature enough to take such decisions all by themselves. Moreover, they feel that the person, whom they are planning to spend their rest of life with, should be of their own choice. But looking at the number of divorces and separations in urban India, the question of whether love marriages can score over arranged marriages remains unanswered.

Education and media have played an important role in popularizing the concept of love marriages in India.

Amid popular love stories like Soni Mahiwal, India always had a long tradition of arranged marriages. With the coming of the British and the subsequent introduction of British education system, more Indians got educated. Movies have influenced the masses as well as the classes to great extent. The approach to love and marriage as depicted in the movies has inspired Indian audiences to the extent that now love marriages are not considered as a taboo. Also, education and exposure to the media, have to some extent changed the mindset of the people and now they have realized that they need not be bound by tradition and they can choose their own marital partners. And for this, they don’t have to depend on parents, matchmakers, relatives, astrologers or any other form of matrimony. This change in mindset and opinions gave rise to number of love marriages. Presently, in our country we have arranged as well as love marriages taking place.

Talking about love marriages, they provide time for mutual understanding between the couples which is obviously needed for any successful relation. This way they are better adjusted in the marriage when they finally take their wedding vows.

In arrange marriages, there is a pressure to conform to parental expectations like producing a male heir, taking part in family rituals and traditions, putting up with sisters-in-laws, contributing to family expenses etc. Lovers have to try hard if their parents don’t agree with the relation. That is why it is said that Love is not an easy way out!

Not all love marriages have happy endings. There are times when discord arises even in love marriages. In lot of love marriage cases, after spending a happy time of marriage, the many couples are seen regretting on their decisions. They find it hard to save the marriage and at last try to break. If they them self chosen their partner and had a perfect tuning then why this unhappy end of the relation after marriage?

But there are other repercussions as well especially for girls. At times, to adjust mould themselves in a new environment, girls have to take extra efforts and initiatives in order to woo their in-laws. Parents also at times don’t support their children and consider them responsible for their marriage.

Perhaps to avoid such a situation, now-a-days many youngsters prefer arranged marriages. People had this notion that arranged marriages used to happen only in the east but this was not always so, arranged marriages were happening even in Victorian Europe. The best and the safest part about the arranged marriage is that parents and the family is happy and they them self arrange the marriage. There are no tears and sacrifices for their permission. Arranged marriage is a safe bet for women as it offers more protection and security to the women.

It is difficult to decide which one can score over the other and which one is ideal is a never-ending debate. Be it a love or arranged marriage, marriage is based on empathy, responsibility, commitment, love and concern. It needs a lot of dedication and effort to sustain the relation. To support and live with each other for life-long, it requires patience, perseverance, dedication and obviously love and care. If one is able to sustain this forever, it is definitely and ideal marriage.

Love is an important aspect, whether it happens before or after marriage is not important. It should happen and then happiness will follow and that’s the secret behind a successful marriage. 

Alex Smoke asked:


Marriage counseling gives people a chance to work out issues with their partners whether it be their boyfriend or girlfriend or their spouse. This process is also referred to as couples counseling. Marriage counseling gives couples the tools to improve their relationship and to learn how to better relate to one another. 

Marriage counseling should be done by a licensed counselor who has a certification in marriage and family counseling. These counselors do pretty much the same as any other counselor but they focus on helping couples. 

In most cases, couples only need to meet with a marriage counselor a few times to work out their problems. Couples who are having more severe problems can attend marriage counseling for several months, though. Marriage counseling usually occurs on a weekly basis.

Marriage Counseling Can Help Everyone

All couples have issues that they need to work through. Each person has different beliefs, ambitions, values and wants different things from their lives and this can cause conflict. If you learn how to work together, though, there does not have to be conflict because of your differences. Couples can learn to appreciate their partner’s unique views and ways of looking at things and this can actually strengthen your relationship.

At times, though, the things that make you and your partner unique can cause problems. The habits and quirks that you found cute in the beginning of the relationship can start to drive you crazy. Relationships can start to suffer if there is a traumatic event such as one partner cheating on the other. The relationship may also suffer if the couple starts to drift apart and starts to fell like they aren’t connected anymore.

Regardless of what the reason for the problems in your marriage, it is very stressful and upsetting to be dealing with them every day. A lot of people ignore their problems and think they will just get better over time. The truth is the problems will probably get worse over time and cause more distress and even depression. The people around you can feel the tension when you are having marriage problems and you can even have trouble focusing at work because of the problems.

Marriage counseling can help couples overcome a variety of problems including the following:

A partner who has had an affair

Talk of divorce

Drug or alcohol abuse

Dealing with physical or mental illness

Gay and ******* issues

Cultural differences

Money issues

Loss of a job

Step family issues

Trouble communicating

Issues with your *** life

Different opinions on raising children

Infertility issues

Anger management

Major life changes like retirement

Marriage Counseling and Domestic Violence

In some cases, marriage counseling can be helpful for couples dealing with domestic violence issues. If the violence has gotten to the point where you are afraid that you or your children will be seriously hurt you should seek help from the police or an organization dealing with domestic violence like a shelter. Marriage counseling by itself may not be enough to help in a relationship with domestic violence issues. 

Marriage Counseling to Avoid Problems

Not all couples who enter marriage counseling do so because they have issues that need to be dealt with. Sometimes marriage counseling is used to strengthen a relationship and help prevent issues from arising in the future. Marriage counseling can also help couples deal with issues before they even get married. Going to marriage counseling before getting married helps couples figure out how to work through the differences that are bound to arise in their marriage.

What Happens in Marriage Counseling?

Marriage counseling gets both people in a relationship in the same room to talk with the counselor. The counselor attempts to help the couple understand what is causing their problems and work on ways to better deal with the problems. Both the people in the relationship get to share their views of what is going on, both good and bad, in the relationship.

Through marriage counseling, couples will learn how to work together. The counselor will teach the couple communication skills and help them learn how to disagree in a healthy way. If there are serious issues causing the problems in the marriage like drug or alcohol abuse or mental illness than other specialists might be brought in to help resolve those issues. 

Talking about your problems and issues in marriage counseling is sometimes difficult. You and your partner may find yourselves sitting quietly and refusing to speak to each other because you are so angry. Or you may find yourselves having a huge argument right there in the counselor’s office. The marriage counselor is there to intervene and help you calmly discuss issues without implying that either of you are right or wrong.

Marriage counseling can make a difference in your marriage in a very short time. In some cases, though, marriage counseling may make you and your partner realize that you really do not belong together.

If your spouse or partner won’t consider going to marriage counseling you should think about going alone. Obviously, marriage counseling is more effective if both partners attend but if you go alone you can learn how you can make a difference in the marriage by changing some of your behaviors and thought patterns.

The decision to attend marriage counseling is not usually an easy one but it is well worth the effort. Marriage counseling is a much better way to deal with issues in your marriage than hoping they go away on their own.